My heart hurts. I feel lonely and isolated and disconnected. Once again I've done it to myself. I've sort of systematically been sabotaging relationships with my friends to the point where I've pretty much alienated everyone. Then I reached out to someone I was close to years ago and was sort of rebuffed. So now I just feel adrift. I'm leaving people behind before they get the chance to cut me off because I'm convinced that they will. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy when you're being as asshat though.