dreamcatchings: (firefly: find your genius thing)
As anyone on my FB knows, I've been working on a crochet project for my dad for Father's day. It's a VW Camper Van, which seems a little crazy to be sure. I'm not 100% happy with it, but I think it looks good. Plus I think he'll really enjoy it.

Lots of pictures so here's a cut )

The dimensions aren't exact but it's about 15 inches tall, 8 inches wide and 14 inches long.

I'm not completely happy with. I wanted larger wheels, but finding two inches buttons was a pain enough. Also they had to be glued on because I positioned the tires after rather than before assemble and there was not way to sew them on. The stars are felt stickers. They should have been sewed. It needed more stuffing but after two and a half bags I was tired of it. There's a bag of beans in the bottom for weight.

Still. It came together rather well.

I would make more, but I'm not sure what I would even charge if someone wanted one.
dreamcatchings: (Default)
As anyone on my FB knows, I've been working on a crochet project for my dad for Father's day. It's a VW Camper Van, which seems a little crazy to be sure. I'm not 100% happy with it, but I think it looks good. Plus I think he'll really enjoy it.

Lots of pictures so here's a cut )

The dimensions aren't exact but it's about 15 inches tall, 8 inches wide and 14 inches long.

I'm not completely happy with. I wanted larger wheels, but finding two inches buttons was a pain enough. Also they had to be glued on because I positioned the tires after rather than before assemble and there was not way to sew them on. The stars are felt stickers. They should have been sewed. It needed more stuffing but after two and a half bags I was tired of it. There's a bag of beans in the bottom for weight.

Still. It came together rather well.

I would make more, but I'm not sure what I would even charge if someone wanted one.
dreamcatchings: (gert: smile)
My da and I did Christmas today. He bought me an X-Box Kinect, which I knew about because I helped him pick it out, and a Kindle Fire, which I am totally OMGing over. So cool. I'm thinking of using the name Gert for the Fire.

In other news, my mom and aunt are fighting so said aunt will not be at Christmas. Oh well.
dreamcatchings: (Default)
My da and I did Christmas today. He bought me an X-Box Kinect, which I knew about because I helped him pick it out, and a Kindle Fire, which I am totally OMGing over. So cool. I'm thinking of using the name Gert for the Fire.

In other news, my mom and aunt are fighting so said aunt will not be at Christmas. Oh well.
dreamcatchings: (spike: must focus)
I've had a mostly present on and off headache for the past three days, which has not been fun at all. It's one of those frontal lobe piercing pains that can't really be ignored and is accompanied by malaise, sensitivity to light, sound and motion along with aching teeth. Driving to work on Wednesday was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I don't know if these count as migraines, but I wouldn't be surprised. I staved it off for part of today when I was hanging out with my father, but it's come back with a vengeance. The only thing I've really been doing is reading, which hurts but hurts less because I can read in dimmer light and there doesn't have to be noise. The upstairs neighbors aren't helping. I've been moving from room to room trying to avoid their noise because it's not bad, but it hurts.

I had a thought today. When I visit with my mother I frequently get irritated and tired of her rather quickly. My patience and temper become short, and I typically want to get home and away as fast as possible. I'm not quite sure what is causing this reaction, but I feel poorly about it because, well, she's my mother. I do having fun with her, but she just gets on my nerves so quickly. If you've never met my mother, she's a bit of a high strung narcissist. I think it grates on my nerves. She's only getting worse with age.

Spending time with my father, on the other hand, is pleasant. We talk about things and watch movies and go shopping. I don't get exasperated trying to help him with computer issues. In fact it's sort of fun to show him things because he listens and he's rational about it. My mother seems to be unwilling to learn. My father will happily learn anything I teach him. We're similar in temperament, my father and I. We're laid back and easygoing and quiet and prone to solitude. I find myself wanting to spend more time with him, which is difficult because he lives further away. Gas is a precious commodity. If things were dire, I could live with my father again. Under no circumstances could I live with my mother without driving myself completely and fiercely insane.

In other news I have started reading the Fire and Ice series. My friend Patrick and I are sort of reading it together. We're currently reading A Game of Thrones, and I'm a little ashamed to admit that he's ahead of me although I hope to rectify that this weekend since reading is the one thing I can really do with this headache. I've already watched the first season of the HBO series so I'm a little spoiled, but I'm really enjoying the book. Patrick and I have plans to read other books together like this, and I think it will be fun. I like having someone to keep pace with and discuss the books with.

Tyrion is made of win. Seriously. I'm going to need icons soon.
dreamcatchings: (Default)
I've had a mostly present on and off headache for the past three days, which has not been fun at all. It's one of those frontal lobe piercing pains that can't really be ignored and is accompanied by malaise, sensitivity to light, sound and motion along with aching teeth. Driving to work on Wednesday was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I don't know if these count as migraines, but I wouldn't be surprised. I staved it off for part of today when I was hanging out with my father, but it's come back with a vengeance. The only thing I've really been doing is reading, which hurts but hurts less because I can read in dimmer light and there doesn't have to be noise. The upstairs neighbors aren't helping. I've been moving from room to room trying to avoid their noise because it's not bad, but it hurts.

I had a thought today. When I visit with my mother I frequently get irritated and tired of her rather quickly. My patience and temper become short, and I typically want to get home and away as fast as possible. I'm not quite sure what is causing this reaction, but I feel poorly about it because, well, she's my mother. I do having fun with her, but she just gets on my nerves so quickly. If you've never met my mother, she's a bit of a high strung narcissist. I think it grates on my nerves. She's only getting worse with age.

Spending time with my father, on the other hand, is pleasant. We talk about things and watch movies and go shopping. I don't get exasperated trying to help him with computer issues. In fact it's sort of fun to show him things because he listens and he's rational about it. My mother seems to be unwilling to learn. My father will happily learn anything I teach him. We're similar in temperament, my father and I. We're laid back and easygoing and quiet and prone to solitude. I find myself wanting to spend more time with him, which is difficult because he lives further away. Gas is a precious commodity. If things were dire, I could live with my father again. Under no circumstances could I live with my mother without driving myself completely and fiercely insane.

In other news I have started reading the Fire and Ice series. My friend Patrick and I are sort of reading it together. We're currently reading A Game of Thrones, and I'm a little ashamed to admit that he's ahead of me although I hope to rectify that this weekend since reading is the one thing I can really do with this headache. I've already watched the first season of the HBO series so I'm a little spoiled, but I'm really enjoying the book. Patrick and I have plans to read other books together like this, and I think it will be fun. I like having someone to keep pace with and discuss the books with.

Tyrion is made of win. Seriously. I'm going to need icons soon.
dreamcatchings: (yes i'm evil)
Happy Fourth of July.

I had to work, although I only spent about four hours on the phone. The rest of my time I was playing supe. This whole week, I've been pretty much been playing supe and training. It's interesting.

Just chilling. Drinking some wine and mulling a couple things over. Perhaps more to come on that. I really should give you guys a proper update rather than bits and pieces now and again. I also need to try and start writing.

I keep wanting to move. My mother keeps arguing with me that the area I'm looking at is dangerous. She wants me to move in with her. I would go insane. Not to mention the fact that I've really come to enjoy my independence. I clean when I want to. I cook what I want to. No one yells at me if I decide that a meal should consist of cheese and crackers and fruit. No one cares if I spend all day until 5pm in my pajamas because I'm cleaning and what's the point in showering until after.

I've a wicked, wicked idea. And I sort of want to act on it.
dreamcatchings: (why)
Some days no matter how good a day I've had or how many times Patrick has made me laugh or how many people I've helped or how much fun I've made of Don or how many geeked out conversations about manga I get into or how many funny faces Garrett makes or how many times Dave snarks or David smiles, it hits me.

Hard.

Like a slap in the chest.

That my grandparents are gone. And that holidays will never be the same because no one else seems to be able to create the same feeling of family (no matter how awkward and nervous it always made me) that they could.

I barely knew them.

I miss them.

We buried my grandfather on Valentine's Day. I know he must have held on for Christmas, and I know he must have let go in order to be back with my grandmother for that day.
dreamcatchings: (beauty)
It's Saturday, the end of my work week. I haven't made any plans for this weekend, though I imagine I should call my father, perhaps see if he wants to grab dinner/lunch if he's going to be down in my area for his classes come Monday.

Other than that, there's cleaning to do, helping the upstairs neighbors move and some writing I want to get done. There's RP stuff I desperately need to do because I feel so bad making people wait, but I simply cannot get my creative mojo going long enough during my work week to get much of anything done.

In other news, here's a bit of a pimp: X Project for collaborative fanfiction/impromptu Marvelverse writing. I've joined. Come check us out. It's just getting started, but it sounds like something that could really be awesome, especially as the grand majority of the Marvel fandom seems to have moved from fanfic to RPing, at least what I've seen. When I was in high school, fanfic was jumping. I was an active member of the Outside the Lines (and still belong to it even if I don't really post to it much anymore) mailing list for years. It was the place for fanfic, and I am so glad I got to be mentored and nurtured there by writers whose skill greatly exceeded mine but were more than willing to give me a read, a hand, an ear, a suggestion. A chance.

If not for OTL, I doubt I'd be either writing fanfic or RPing today.
dreamcatchings: (bombshell)
I'm going to my mother's for an Easter thing as [livejournal.com profile] timberwolfblues is at work. There shall be food and maybe a movie. Depending. I hope my aunt doesn't stay too long. Things with her around can be a tad bit uncomfortable. She is, also, a little more on the conservative side and might not appreciate my latest hair endeavor, although my mother liked it so much she wants to do something similar with her hair.

I suppose I'm being a bit bad as I went an extra length with my hair today and styled it. Kinda. I put volumizer all through it and then blew it dry with my head upside down so now it's got body and it's flipping and going in different directions. Then I went and clipped the part that would fall off my eyes back so you can see more of the dark brown under layers. Which I love so much. The color of the under layer is the color of my dad's hair when he was younger. It was, yet another, of the hair colors that I always wanted. The yen for bright red can be blamed on My So-Called Life and just picked up speed due to Pieces of April and then Jared Leto's hair in the From Yesterday 30 Seconds to Mars video.

Anyway, the whole point of this post was to be a "I'm going to my mother's for Easter so I want not be back until later to work on rp posting" warning, but it has turned into something longer. Mostly, I feel, because I have been missing words. I haven't really written anything this week; I've just been reading, absorbing, storing and building them up in my fingers, heart, head and soul. I am a bubbling cauldron of words waiting to spill out later. Mmmmmm. I'm so addicted to words. I just want to feel them on my tongue, their different textures and flavors, the cold, the bite, the heat, the jagged, the smooth. Words are like anything else; they have their own texture and taste.

Gah.

Have to get ready.

<3
dreamcatchings: (to feel)
It concerns me that, at twenty-four, my fingers, like my father's and grandfather's before me, are beginning to go numb. We are a people of hands, my family, especially my father's side. My father is a auto mechanic and, while he has held other jobs, it is the cars that he loves, always has been and always will be. Yet I have watched his hands fail him, his fingers fail him, for years now. The sense dulled, the mobility limited. I remember that my grandfather cut through part of his hand with his table saw because he could not feel it. So the deadening, the loss of sensation in the ring finger of my right hand strikes me with a kind of dread that hits hard and hits home because I have seen this. I have seen what this genetic fluke does and what it takes away.

I love my hands. I love my fingers even when I cut the nails off and they seem stumpy to me, though compared to so many other people's hands, they are large and long and flexible. Had I the aptitude and the ambition, I would be an excellent musician.

I do not want to lose my hands. I do not want this numbness in my fingers, the dead feeling of it. I don't like the implications for the future. I am my hands. I am my spirit feeding my brain words feeding my hands impulses feeding my fingers typing the words. I need these hands. I want these hands. They are my mother's hands, which were my grandmother's hands, and yet they are my father's hands as well, deadening on me, frightening me with the lack of sensation that is, oddly enough, uncomfortable. Anyone whose hands have gone numb from cold know this feeling. Only there is no painful waking. There is no waking. It simply sleeps.

I wait and massage it. Prince Charming smothering Sleeping Beauty with kisses to no avail.
dreamcatchings: (dorks)
My mother bought a new computer. My mother's new computer has Vista on it. My mother wants me to help her get things going on it.

...I may be gone for most of the day.

For when I get back:

Superbowl List: )
dreamcatchings: (stressed)
My mother's in the hospital.

And I cannot seem to catch anyone who will tell me why or what's going on.

ETA: And she just called me. Seems she had some sort of horrible pain in her chest, which she wasn't sure whether it was her heart or acid reflux or something of that nature. The tests they've done have all been pretty clean so she figures it was acid reflux, and they should be sending her home soon. She directed me to go to work rather than call in to go see her so everything should be fine. Still a goddamn scare, though.

ETA 2: Apparently my aunt is also taking my mother to her doctor or, rather, has taken her by now for some other stuff. I'll update as I hear more. Thanks to everyone who has commented. &hearts
dreamcatchings: (hostile)
Well, I was hoping to get posting done today but someone *eyes [livejournal.com profile] timberwolfblues* has invited people over for New Year's Eve. This wouldn't be such a big deal except these are people I have never met before. Which means that I need to straighten up the apartment. And they're going to be here for four hours. Four. Hours. The whole thing is making me twitchy already. I just want to lock myself in the NOC.
dreamcatchings: (girl)
Work is starting to churn down. Hasn't been so bad at all the past couple of days. Hopefully, it'll stay that way for a little while.

RL has been sort of hectic because [livejournal.com profile] timberwolfblues is sick so I've got more to do around the apartment than usual.

And this coming Monday (the 18th) I offered to work overtime doing a special project at work to get a little extra money in the account, which is never a bad thing. Apparently, all we're going to do is run speed tests all night. I work from 5pm until midnight so it's not going to be all that bad and at $17.50 an hour it's more than worth it.

Am off Christmas Eve and Christmas though the boy is working both. He'll still be home in time to do some stuff.

Need to talk to Mom. Need to get back up to Dad's to pick up Christmas stuff because we have nada around the apartment other than presents, cards and some snazzy paper I picked up.

I have been sleeping what I consider to be too much, but I'm always tired. Not sure what's going on with that.

Time to go to work.
dreamcatchings: (trapped)
So I was gonna tell my dad this morning, but he ended up going off to god knows where. I had to get to work and could not wait to see when he'd be back.

I left a note. Putting things in writing has always made me more comfortable. He hasn't called work yelling yet. I guess that's a good sign.

One week until I move. One week and two days until my birthday.

ETA: Dad just called to tell me that he had assumed as much. *head desks* See? See. Little deal blown way out of proportion. Wow.

I'm just gonna be under my desk.

God, I'm an idiot.
dreamcatchings: (emo)
I have a problem. Aside from the "OMG, moving in a little over a week must pack up my entire life" thing. My father knows I'm moving. He does not, however, know that I'm moving in with [livejournal.com profile] timberwolfblues because I am a coward. Each day I have tried to work myself up to it and each day I back down, tuck my tail between my legs and scamper off. It's not that he doesn't like the boy because he does. I'm just afraid Dad would think I was making a mistake or get one of those looks or say something stupid and then I'll cry and feel horrible about myself and about everything.

Mom knows. Mom doesn't care. Hell, Mom suggested it.

The problem is telling my father.

Any suggestions? Or, um, anyone want to tell him for me?
dreamcatchings: (relax)
Applied for two jobs in Louisville. Perhaps not the best thing to do when my car's currently broken but what the hell. Things here are looking sort of dire.

My father's already found a buyer for the house. The son of the people we bought it from really wants it back. Which means Dad now needs to get his whatever the fuck he's building in the middle of nowhere built asap. Also he's apparently having a moving sale. Which I got to find out from one of his co-workers who came into the store. Gee, thanks Dad.

Onward and upward. Or something like that.
dreamcatchings: (bombshell)
Comic book characters keep edging their way into my dreams.

Which should probably bother me or indicate some kinda mental problem. But I really sort of enjoy it. Because it's better than dreaming about dead people, which happens to me far too often. Although I did have a dream about my grandfather the other night. (And here's where I talk about that dream because I'm all about stream of conscious right now. It was, like, I think he was trying to explain things to me. Which he doesn't need to. Not really. Because I already know. I know, Grandpa, I do. I promise. I'm not mad. I was never mad. I don't get mad at people who die. But in the dream, it's all so foggy I can't remember details just the feeling, which was that he couldn't do it. Without my grandmother, he just couldn't make himself stay. Not that he didn't love us, not that he didn't want to. He just couldn't because the hole was just too big. Yes, I know. I know. You don't have to tell me. I love you, too. I miss you. Of course, I miss you. And every military funereal I ever see will remind me of yours and of you, and I will likely always cry at them. But I love you. I know you love me. It's okay. It's alright.)

So that kinda oddly went where I did not expect it to go. Anyway, my dream last night was that Paige "Husk" Guthrie had this weird motorcycle (name of which was Excalibur) that Warren "Arch/Angel" Worthington III had given her. Which, hello, stupid! You do not give Paige a motorcycle. You keep Paige as far away from a motorcycle as humanly possible. This is the last girl you want to have a motorcycle.

And now I prove my point.

Paige was all over the road. All over. Reckless endangerment with a motor vehicle personified. Of course, the fact that she was, like, escaping villains doesn't matter because, still. Paige does not equal good motorcycle driver. Ever.

So she gets back to the mansion with this completely thrashed motorcycle, and the cops are looking for her because of, well, like side swiping multiple cars at high speeds and the like. And X is all mad at her for very obvious reasons because cops and a school full of mutants do not mix well.

Anyway, um, I don't remember what happened after that, but I was very, very mad at Warren for giving her the bike in the first place because duh. Jono, of course, would never have given her a motorcycle because he knows better. Jono pwns Warren any day.

Well, except for the fact that he's all post-HoM now, but we don't talk about that.
dreamcatchings: (sad)
When I was in England, my grandparents bought a map of the country and every time I sent them a postcard from someplace, they marked it on the map.

Every single place.

They were so goddamn proud of that map.

They were so goddamn proud of me.

And I can't help but worry that I'm letting everybody down.

ETA: I know. I know before you ever say a goddamn word.

That if I'm so fucking unhappy, I should do something about it.

Well, fuck off. Let me fucking be.

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dreamcatchings: (Default)
Sara

July 2012

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