dreamcatchings: (relax)
Chores done. Mostly. What I originally thought was a post office near the Target ended up being some sort of Veteran work center, which, while cool, does not help me. So I'll just have to try and catch my postman to send the Netflix stuff out tomorrow. Not a big deal.

I bought my mother four DVDs for Mother's Day. I got the oil changed. While at the bank, the teller asked me whether I had ever talked to their investment people, which was something I had been meaning to do but never asked about. I now have an appointment to do that. Apparently the amount of money in my two accounts makes them think I should be investing, which is actually helpful to me because I had just been about to start asking people how much money should stay in a checking account.

I also bought myself a griddle so I can make French toast and pancakes again as well as a couple of CDs from artists who've had music played on Grey's Anatomy, which really showcases some of the loveliest music I've heard in a show in awhile. It's right up there with Scrubs.

Now I'm going to get something to drink and then watch some TV before working on posting.
dreamcatchings: (optimistic?)
I have errands to run today. I don't want to. I really don't like leaving my apartment unless I have to but there are things that need to be done.

List:


  • oil change
  • bank deposit
  • Mother's Day gifts

  • post office
  • Target run for odds and ends



However, I'm going to have some coffee and let the lunch hour pass me by before I even contemplate setting foot outside of my door.
dreamcatchings: (believe)
I'm feeling better now. Things are still a little crushing, but it no longer feels like the world is falling down on me. I have a headache and the skin around my eyes is still raw from the crying, but it's better now although the fact that [livejournal.com profile] timberwolfblues' car is acting up again is, well, less than fantastic.

I'm looking forward to my days off and hoping that I feel good for them rather than just staying on the couch watching Mythbusters and playing video games all day. Speaking of video games, [livejournal.com profile] timberwolfblues bought a Wii and some games. He got it yesterday. I, of course, was in no condition to play with said new game last night.

Yay for Wii, I guess.

I don't know. I feel less like crying, but I'm still not really enjoying anything, either. I need to play some Dance, Dance. Get the endorphins going to kick this depression's ass.
dreamcatchings: (sad)
Minor meltdown at work last night that involved me crying in the call center while trying desperately not to (at least it was only a few tears here and there and no sobbing) and then sobbing in my car as I drove home. I don't know what it is but I have not felt like me all week. It seems like everything is overwhelming, everything is going wrong, everything is my personal fault (seriously, the sky could turn red and it'd be my fault) and I'm a failure in more ways than it is possible to even begin listing.

The result is that it piles and piles and piles until it breaks and I have the mini-meltdown. In front of people. Bah.

All I really want to do, have wanted to do, is stay home, stay in bed or on the couch. I don't even really want to be online because I am invariably disappointing people on here as well. It's not a good mood. I don't like it, but it's here. And I usually just have to wait them out.
dreamcatchings: (period)
Got up at 8:30am this morning because we had to go get [livejournal.com profile] timberwolfblues' car and take it from one place to Pep Boys (because, well, the part that's gone bye-bye is something they fixed a couple of months ago and it should not be dead this early again) and then I drove him to work. His new schedule is noon to 10:30pm Sunday through Wednesday. From his work to my work it's about, um, twenty, thirty minutes tops. There's not enough time to go home and yet too much time to kill. I wandered around Wal-Mart for about forty minutes before I went to work. An hour early.

Tonight when I get off work I have to go get him. Thankfully, it's easier for him to work overtime than me as he seems to be able to take it any time while I have to check and see if it's available. Still. This schedule is killing me.

There is good news, though. The car is apparently done. We can pick it up tomorrow. Thank god.

Anyway, I'm exhausted, my period started today, and I think I'm getting a cold. If I owe you posts, I'm sorry, they won't be getting done tonight.
dreamcatchings: (to feel)
It concerns me that, at twenty-four, my fingers, like my father's and grandfather's before me, are beginning to go numb. We are a people of hands, my family, especially my father's side. My father is a auto mechanic and, while he has held other jobs, it is the cars that he loves, always has been and always will be. Yet I have watched his hands fail him, his fingers fail him, for years now. The sense dulled, the mobility limited. I remember that my grandfather cut through part of his hand with his table saw because he could not feel it. So the deadening, the loss of sensation in the ring finger of my right hand strikes me with a kind of dread that hits hard and hits home because I have seen this. I have seen what this genetic fluke does and what it takes away.

I love my hands. I love my fingers even when I cut the nails off and they seem stumpy to me, though compared to so many other people's hands, they are large and long and flexible. Had I the aptitude and the ambition, I would be an excellent musician.

I do not want to lose my hands. I do not want this numbness in my fingers, the dead feeling of it. I don't like the implications for the future. I am my hands. I am my spirit feeding my brain words feeding my hands impulses feeding my fingers typing the words. I need these hands. I want these hands. They are my mother's hands, which were my grandmother's hands, and yet they are my father's hands as well, deadening on me, frightening me with the lack of sensation that is, oddly enough, uncomfortable. Anyone whose hands have gone numb from cold know this feeling. Only there is no painful waking. There is no waking. It simply sleeps.

I wait and massage it. Prince Charming smothering Sleeping Beauty with kisses to no avail.
dreamcatchings: (smeghead)
*growls* Multiple things going wrong today makes Sara cranky.

Here's a list. I doubt I'll even get to dream about touching it today.

ze list: )
dreamcatchings: (girl)
I've been feeling terribly flustered and unproductive lately. I know I should be doing things; I simply cannot seem to make myself care enough to do them. We've been in queues all week long and that simply saps all my energy.

My list:


  • get Christmas packages mailed (Good God, do it already)
  • take sweater back to Dillard's
  • laundry
  • clean and vacuum
  • rp posting

dreamcatchings: (girl)
Work is starting to churn down. Hasn't been so bad at all the past couple of days. Hopefully, it'll stay that way for a little while.

RL has been sort of hectic because [livejournal.com profile] timberwolfblues is sick so I've got more to do around the apartment than usual.

And this coming Monday (the 18th) I offered to work overtime doing a special project at work to get a little extra money in the account, which is never a bad thing. Apparently, all we're going to do is run speed tests all night. I work from 5pm until midnight so it's not going to be all that bad and at $17.50 an hour it's more than worth it.

Am off Christmas Eve and Christmas though the boy is working both. He'll still be home in time to do some stuff.

Need to talk to Mom. Need to get back up to Dad's to pick up Christmas stuff because we have nada around the apartment other than presents, cards and some snazzy paper I picked up.

I have been sleeping what I consider to be too much, but I'm always tired. Not sure what's going on with that.

Time to go to work.

Busy Busy

Oct. 5th, 2006 12:27 am
dreamcatchings: (party)
Things Accomplished Today:


  • new checking account
  • new job orientation
  • drug test
  • assembled [livejournal.com profile] timberwolfblues' computer desk
  • microwave
  • bakeware
  • knives
  • cable/internet installed
  • unpacking



For Tomorrow:


  • washer/dryer delivery
  • laundry
  • unpacking
  • BMV
  • auto/rent insurance
  • find post office/UPS drop off

dreamcatchings: (spiral)
Real life to do list for myself for today.


  • *pack
  • read over new material e-mailed to me
  • pick out outfit for Wednesday
  • print copies of resume to take
  • get a list of references together
  • read over material
  • get quarters together for parking meters
  • *let everyone know that I'll be gone for the day Wednesday but should be back for night shift
  • get deposit ready for bank
  • check on boy after his surgery
  • work on not getting my hopes up too much
  • stop feeling guilty about considering quitting current job--as per request from [livejournal.com profile] selderaya
  • go to doctor at 2:30pm
  • take a look at apartments on Rent.com

dreamcatchings: (stressed)
Real life to do list for myself for today.


  • pick out outfit for Wednesday
  • print copies of resume to take
  • get a list of references together
  • read over material
  • get quarters together for parking meters
  • let everyone know that I'll be gone for the day Wednesday but should be back for night shift
  • get deposit ready for bank
  • check on boy after his surgery--called twice, no answer. I assume this means he's sleeping.
  • work on not getting my hopes up too much
  • stop feeling guilty about considering quitting current job
  • go to doctor at 2:30pm
  • take a look at apartments on Rent.com

dreamcatchings: (relax)
My allergy meds made me sleepy. They'll be gone in four and a half more days, though, which makes me kinda sad because it was nice to not be sneezing and not have runny, itchy eyes. I usually just take OTC Benedryl for my allergies because they're not that bad. The doctor put me on Chlorex-A for the ear infection, though, and I'll miss it a little. Though the sleepy part is kinda annoying. It's Saturday night. I shouldn't be sleepy at 10:30pm.

I want friends locally that I could do things with. I miss going out with a group of friends. I miss drinking and dancing and karoke and people convincing me to take my top off.

I'm gonna go down to Clarksville and see [livejournal.com profile] timberwolfblues tomorrow. We've been talking about an apartment for a little bit now. The idea really kinda thrills me. I don't actually feel like a grown-up right now, and I'd kinda like to.
dreamcatchings: (genius)
Real life list


  • laundry
  • dishes
  • dinner
  • figure out why this TS file won't load right

dreamcatchings: (pissed off)
Well, that was basically a fucking waste of time.

Go to ER to have the doctor look at my ear to confirm what I already knew: it's still plugged.

They then tell me they can't do anything unless they enroll me as a patient again, which would be another $75 copay. And considering I already have a $75 bill coming to me for some ear drops and not the fuck much else I said no. Took a script for some other kind of medicine that might work loose the wax.

Only to go to the pharmacy and find out that they can't give it to me until tomorrow.

Oh, and, I need to make an appointment to go see the ER doctor in Campbellsburg for Tuesday or Wednesday of this week because he's got a nifty machine there that should be able to get it right out.

Fuck. I'm just so fucking annoyed with all of this.
dreamcatchings: (trapped)
After watching way too much Mythbusters (and good God how much fun would it be to have a job like that?) I'm gonna head back to the ER.

The ear doesn't hurt as much, but it's still all clogged and there is some pain. And it's not even like I'm currently that doped up. Yesterday I was doing Tylenol and then Motrin three hours after and then three hours and Tylenol because that's what the wonderful ER nurse told me. My last dose today was around noon, and the pain isn't bad enough to have me whimpering and prostrate.

Although I'd love to be able to hear out of both ears again.

I'll report when I'm back.
dreamcatchings: (trapped)
Finally managed to get to sleep around 6:30am (after calling [livejournal.com profile] timberwolfblues and crying to him about it all) and then had to get back up at 8am. Or, rather, I woke up about every half hour between 6:30 and 8am to look at the clock and go, "Oh, please. More time."

Now I'm at work. My ears still hurts. A lot. It is still clogged and still very painful. Plus I'll have a nice ER copay bill coming to me in the mail. For basically getting to sit in the ER for two hours and then have them give me ear drops and an ear irrigation, which I could have and was doing at home. And my ear still hurts enough that I just want to cry.

After work I'm going to go buy a heating pad, an irrigation bulb and, oh, damn there was something. I don't remember. Motrin because I can apparently take Tylenol and then Motrin two hours later rather than having to wait the four to six for more Tylenol. And that was about the only handy thing I learned in the ER. Well, that and the fact that when the doctor is on for 24 hours, you'd be better to let the nice, sympathetic male nurse take care of you. The nice, sympathetic male nurse who was very apologetic about the fact that he really couldn't do anything to help me, which was why I didn't raise too much of a fuss. I could tell he felt really bad about it. Plus by that point I was so ready to cry because of the pain that I just wanted to go home.

It's doubtful that I'm going to my mother's much as I would like to see her. It hurts too much. I'll call her and apologize. Makes me feel like a horrible daughter to have to cancel plans like that.

And I'm not likely to be online much as most of my time is probably going to be spent curled up on my bed whimpering and taking over the counter pain pills while I continue to use the drops and try to get the wax out. God, this sucks.

ER Visit

May. 13th, 2006 05:34 am
dreamcatchings: (sad)
I tried to do a voice post but none of the numbers I had programmed in my phone went anywhere.

Just got back from the ER where I went about two hours ago because my right ear is clogged and hurting.

My right ear is still clogged and hurting. Only now I get to pay a bill for the privilege. They gave my ear drops, tried to flush it and then sent me home with said ear drops and the suggestion to take Tylenol for the pain. And to come back on Sunday if it wasn't any better.

It hurts so bad I can't fucking sleep.

I don't know if I'm gonna make it down to my mother's this weekend or not. I want to go but this really fucking hurts.

Karmic penalty for vanity.

I used to get this all the time when I was little. I forgot how much it fucking hurt. I'm gonna go lie down and hope I can get some rest before I go to work tomorrow.
dreamcatchings: (dare)
Yesterday [livejournal.com profile] timberwolfblues and I went to the mall because I needed to buy my mother something for Mother's Day. After I purchased two tops for her, which I hope she likes because I think they'd be glorious on her, I wandered around trying to locate the boy, who bowed out of helping me clothes shop thankfully. Finally located him in Razzmatazz, which is a weird hippie t-shirt, punk store. Think Hot Topic meets, um, the 60s and you're pretty much there.

Anyway, this is getting boring. Hell, I'm boring myself, and I know where I'm going with this. Ceasing rambling, I was looking at their hair color. Not normal hair color by any means but the day-glo orange, yellow, red and then a big selection of blues, purples and darker reds. I love hair color. To death. With a burning passion. I love it. My hair was dyed almost continually throughout my high school years and then sporadically in college. But it was always fairly normal. Well, a couple of times the dark burgundy turned my hair purple but I was always going for a shade found somewhere in nature despite my silent desire to dye all my hair bring yellow with orange bangs, a dream that never came true because I'd have to bleach like whoa.

But I find myself thinking not about anything permanent but about maybe something semi-permanent. Likes red again. Red red. My So-Called Life red, which was the whole reason I actually started dying my hair in the first place. How lame does that make me? At the length my hair is now I'd need two boxes. Or maybe just one of those little bottle things from Razzmatazz.The trouble with the semi-permanents is that they rarely have the kind of colors I want. I want bright, rich red. Which is hard to get from my medium brown hair without lightening.

Ponder, ponder. Maybe I'll go to the drugstore after work and look around. I could do with a beer restocking anyway. Not that I need to spend the money, but I kinda miss the color. I've got some pretty fantastic natural highlights (in both red and blond), and I'm happier with my natural hair color now than I've been in a long while, but I kinda miss the look of something else. But I don't want it until I have to grow it out and hack it off or something. Which is why I'm thinking semi-permanent. Oh well. We'll see what happens.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Comments?

Most of you guys know me or have seen me or something. What do you think?
dreamcatchings: (stressed)
Whatever kinda creepy birds are getting it on outside my window so need to stop because the weird trilling is hard to focus through.

And here comes another headache.

The dishes still aren't done, and they're not getting done tonight. Depending on how I feel, they might get done tomorrow. After I, you know, get back from work. Six day week. Yay.

Smeg.

I haven't seen [livejournal.com profile] timberwolfblues in almost a month. I'd love to see him this weekend, but I'm afraid I might just pass out from exhaustion this weekend.

*sigh*

Back to trying to get this rp post done before I fall into bed.

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dreamcatchings: (Default)
Sara

July 2012

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