(no subject)

So I'm having one of those days where I start crying on the way home, cry the entire 30 minutes and then continue crying when I get home because everything feels so heavy and awful and hopeless.I feel like I'm drowning and there's no air and no chance of escape and no one to help me. And when I eventually just give up and give in, no one will care then either.

What did I do to deserve this? What the fuck did I ever do to anyone to feel like this?

I'm in trouble at work. I have no one to talk to. I feel disconnected from my friends and unwanted.

I think if I actually felt in how many ways I am defeated right now that I would fall apart so hard that nothing would be able to put me back together again.

I work hard. I do. I kill myself at work. And I get nothing. I get passed over and overlooked and yelled at.

And I hate it.

And I never have any energy for me.

Everything is hard and everything hurts and there is no one.

Nobody even fucking cares.

Which is probably more just the way I feel than the way things are.