All These Little Things are Too Heavy to Hold

I did not get the one position at work, which does not surprise me. The feedback I have been given thus far was nowhere near helpful and seemed to be geared toward pushing me, once again, in a direction at work that I do not wish to pursue. The second position I applied for has not been through the interview process yet. I am supposed to be getting a phone call from the manager/supervisor over that department sometime today or tomorrow. The lack of an honest to god time expectation strikes me as totally inconsiderate, especially as I am trying to make plans with various people but have to put them on hold because what would I do if said manager called me during them.

Then I get a private message on Fanfiction.net that says, "Do you still go on this website? Geesh you must not since you only wrote stories from '98! Bye!" It shouldn't have caused a knee jerk response of me feeling like a failure, but it did so I sent them a message back that basically said, "Thank you for writing me, and maybe you didn't mean this message to be so hurtful but it was." because I'm getting really sick of everything at this point.

I feel not only stuck but also punished at work. I miss my old supervisor who would have fought for me. I am tired of being the team captain in keeping people's spirits up. I am sick of playing lead without any of the recognition or pay. Our current lead refers people and their questions to me. He gives me power. I get nothing but more responsibilities in return. No one gives me an inch, but they take miles and miles from me.

My soul hurts.

I am still seriously considering having a talk with the manager over our side of the call center because something has to give.

All These Little Things are Too Heavy to Hold

I did not get the one position at work, which does not surprise me. The feedback I have been given thus far was nowhere near helpful and seemed to be geared toward pushing me, once again, in a direction at work that I do not wish to pursue. The second position I applied for has not been through the interview process yet. I am supposed to be getting a phone call from the manager/supervisor over that department sometime today or tomorrow. The lack of an honest to god time expectation strikes me as totally inconsiderate, especially as I am trying to make plans with various people but have to put them on hold because what would I do if said manager called me during them.

Then I get a private message on Fanfiction.net that says, "Do you still go on this website? Geesh you must not since you only wrote stories from '98! Bye!" It shouldn't have caused a knee jerk response of me feeling like a failure, but it did so I sent them a message back that basically said, "Thank you for writing me, and maybe you didn't mean this message to be so hurtful but it was." because I'm getting really sick of everything at this point.

I feel not only stuck but also punished at work. I miss my old supervisor who would have fought for me. I am tired of being the team captain in keeping people's spirits up. I am sick of playing lead without any of the recognition or pay. Our current lead refers people and their questions to me. He gives me power. I get nothing but more responsibilities in return. No one gives me an inch, but they take miles and miles from me.

My soul hurts.

I am still seriously considering having a talk with the manager over our side of the call center because something has to give.