Entry tags:
(no subject)
Random quotes from work:
Me to my boss, who has an ultra thin laptop: "Wow, that's itty bitty isn't it?"
Craig: "Yes." *pause* "And for the record never look at a guy's lap and say, `That's itty bitty, isn't it?' no matter what you're talking about."
Wilbur and Jim work on getting pieces off a motherboard.
Wilbur: "Blowtorch?"
Jim: "Blowtorch."
Me: *standing up* "Blowtorch!"
Jim comes back with blowtorch.
Me: "That's disappointingly small."
Jim: "Shut up, Sara!"
Wilbur: "I'm not even going there."
Craig and Mitch talking about Mitch's presentation.
Craig: "Did you manage to work in that [our mayor] blows goats."
Mitch: "Well, no, the opportunity never presented itself."
Craig: "That's the kinda thing that there's never a good segue way for. You just kinda have to put it out there."
Dale (to me after I've been going on about setting people and things on fire): "I think you need to start going to church."
Me: "Why? You go to church two times, and now you're trying to save my soul."
Dale: "I'm just concerned."
Craig: "It's more like one of those stop now before you turn into this things."
Me: "An after school special."
Dale: "I always wanted to make one of those."
Me to my boss, who has an ultra thin laptop: "Wow, that's itty bitty isn't it?"
Craig: "Yes." *pause* "And for the record never look at a guy's lap and say, `That's itty bitty, isn't it?' no matter what you're talking about."
Wilbur and Jim work on getting pieces off a motherboard.
Wilbur: "Blowtorch?"
Jim: "Blowtorch."
Me: *standing up* "Blowtorch!"
Jim comes back with blowtorch.
Me: "That's disappointingly small."
Jim: "Shut up, Sara!"
Wilbur: "I'm not even going there."
Craig and Mitch talking about Mitch's presentation.
Craig: "Did you manage to work in that [our mayor] blows goats."
Mitch: "Well, no, the opportunity never presented itself."
Craig: "That's the kinda thing that there's never a good segue way for. You just kinda have to put it out there."
Dale (to me after I've been going on about setting people and things on fire): "I think you need to start going to church."
Me: "Why? You go to church two times, and now you're trying to save my soul."
Dale: "I'm just concerned."
Craig: "It's more like one of those stop now before you turn into this things."
Me: "An after school special."
Dale: "I always wanted to make one of those."
Weird
Total WTF-ery on the voice mail. Some message from Saturday (April Fool ha ha) that's, like, some kind of English/Spanish lesson with this vibrant Spanish music in the background. And it lasted for about five minutes and was pretty obviously not directed in any way, shape or form at our voice mail.
Freaky but good for a laugh.
I didn't even erase it. I might see if I can voice post it later.
Freaky but good for a laugh.
I didn't even erase it. I might see if I can voice post it later.
Entry tags:
(no subject)
We're home.
Had a splendid time.
Saw![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mizzmarvel and Tracy and another friend from college. Ran around to various places and basically just talked and talked and laughed.
And then my period started.
And now the cramps are here.
We got home around 11pm. Long day.
Long, fun day.
Had a splendid time.
Saw
mizzmarvel and Tracy and another friend from college. Ran around to various places and basically just talked and talked and laughed.And then my period started.
And now the cramps are here.
We got home around 11pm. Long day.
Long, fun day.
Entry tags:
Later Folks
De and I are headed to E-ville today. There will likely be an update with more of our crazzzzzzzy adventures (because OMFG I swear this stuff only happens to me when she's here) when we get back.
Entry tags:
(no subject)
On getting my thumb caught in my belt loop (it's really better for all of us if you do not ask): "Apparently my pants want my hands in them."
De: "Put that in your journal now."
De: "Put that in your journal now."
Entry tags:
Weird Story
Goddamn fucking spider monkey tethered to a cement block, man.
No, really. I am not kidding.
De and I went for a walk around Salem, which is, as you know from my bitching, an itty bitty town in the middle of nowhere. Butt fucking Egypt.
So we're randomly walking around in these big circles, and there's this thing on a porch. It looks like a monkey. Only it can't be a monkey, right? I mean, Indiana, man. Indi-fucking-ana. Monkey? WTBF? We draw closer. "Hey, De, that's not a monkey, is it?"
Only it is. It really, really is.
And it's happy. Very, very happy. Happy spider monkey tethered to a cement block on a random porch with police tape around it.
Giant monkey erection. Bright red monkey erection and, as De pointed out later, some seriously sexually monkey frustrated blue balls. Mr. Fucking Spier Monkey Tethered to a Cement Block gets no lovin. Ever. And apparently thought we might be interested.
Mr. Monkey's owner was watching up out the window like he might have a Smith and Wesson with our name on it, though, so we high tailed it out of there and proceeded to call various people and go, "Fucking goddamn spider monkey tethered to a cement block" because WTF, man. WTF.
And now we're telling you.
"Of all the things I expected to see, and strange things I prepared myself for, that was definitely not one of them." --De
No, really. I am not kidding.
De and I went for a walk around Salem, which is, as you know from my bitching, an itty bitty town in the middle of nowhere. Butt fucking Egypt.
So we're randomly walking around in these big circles, and there's this thing on a porch. It looks like a monkey. Only it can't be a monkey, right? I mean, Indiana, man. Indi-fucking-ana. Monkey? WTBF? We draw closer. "Hey, De, that's not a monkey, is it?"
Only it is. It really, really is.
And it's happy. Very, very happy. Happy spider monkey tethered to a cement block on a random porch with police tape around it.
Giant monkey erection. Bright red monkey erection and, as De pointed out later, some seriously sexually monkey frustrated blue balls. Mr. Fucking Spier Monkey Tethered to a Cement Block gets no lovin. Ever. And apparently thought we might be interested.
Mr. Monkey's owner was watching up out the window like he might have a Smith and Wesson with our name on it, though, so we high tailed it out of there and proceeded to call various people and go, "Fucking goddamn spider monkey tethered to a cement block" because WTF, man. WTF.
And now we're telling you.
"Of all the things I expected to see, and strange things I prepared myself for, that was definitely not one of them." --De
Entry tags:
(no subject)
Excerpts from De's story:
"They made me take my bra off. And then they started attaching things."
"And I stood and all sorts of strange things were done to me."
"They made me take my bra off. And then they started attaching things."
"And I stood and all sorts of strange things were done to me."
Entry tags:
(no subject)
*sigh*
We do not have a coin operated washer. Dad, please stop leaving change in your pockets.
Or, if for some reason your life is not fulfilled unless you wash money, leave twenties in your pockets. I cannot buy anything with seven cents.
We do not have a coin operated washer. Dad, please stop leaving change in your pockets.
Or, if for some reason your life is not fulfilled unless you wash money, leave twenties in your pockets. I cannot buy anything with seven cents.
Entry tags:
Teh Funny
To begin with, please reference this entry.
JesusChrist31416: REPENT SINNER
magikfanfic: Good afternoon.
JesusChrist31416: Join the Roman Catholic faith now, sinner, or you shall burn in hell for all eternity!
magikfanfic: I feel that this is all very deja vu.
JesusChrist31416: I did die for your sins a while back
magikfanfic: I think the RC faith probably appreciates your pimping, though.
magikfanfic: I've been meaning to say thanks for that whole cross thing.
magikfanfic: That must have sucked.
JesusChrist31416: word
magikfanfic: Is it tiring, being the Son of God and all?
JesusChrist31416: nah, i get a lot of beach time
magikfanfic: I bet that robe allows for some funky tan lines, huh?
JesusChrist31416: i don't tan, it's sweet
magikfanfic: No skin cancer for you. Nice.
We're currently talking about Double Dash (????).
JesusChrist31416: REPENT SINNER
magikfanfic: Good afternoon.JesusChrist31416: Join the Roman Catholic faith now, sinner, or you shall burn in hell for all eternity!
magikfanfic: I feel that this is all very deja vu.JesusChrist31416: I did die for your sins a while back
magikfanfic: I think the RC faith probably appreciates your pimping, though.magikfanfic: I've been meaning to say thanks for that whole cross thing.magikfanfic: That must have sucked.JesusChrist31416: word
magikfanfic: Is it tiring, being the Son of God and all?JesusChrist31416: nah, i get a lot of beach time
magikfanfic: I bet that robe allows for some funky tan lines, huh?JesusChrist31416: i don't tan, it's sweet
magikfanfic: No skin cancer for you. Nice.We're currently talking about Double Dash (????).