(no subject)

Ever feel like you're in a book or a television show or a movie or a play? Or somewhere and somewhen that doesn't really matter at all because it's not real? See I wake up and I narrate my own life. I can't help it. I can't stop it. I cut myself off when I catch myself doing it because it's not real. It's just me playing at life and thinking well what if that or what is this or wouldn't that be nice. None of those things do me much good in the end, you see. None of them matter. I can make up one life and play it all out in my head. I can have whole conversations with people. I can be anywhere and anyone I want to be. And I say when it ends. And I control the actions of the players in my world.

The world around me doesn't work like that. The players never say what I think they'll say. The story doesn't end just because I can't take anymore. It marches on and on and on. It's not my head. It's not mine. It's not just mine. I have to share it with all the rest of you, and you have no puppet strings for me to pull. And you have no easy answers for me. And you confound me by saying things I never think of.

And I never know how I seem to you. I can't control the way you look at me, think about me. I can't control you. People scare me. Everything you do and don't do and say and don't say or just say to me and no one else.

I'm rambling. I'm avoiding.

I said I'd tell him today. I said I would.

I will I will I will I will I will I will.

I Am Not Hiding in My Room...yes i am

Stolen (most recently) from laele75:

The rules:
1. Put your music player of choice on shuffle
2. Scene one = first song played, scene two = second, so on.
3. No cheating/skipping
4. Pass it on

Opening Credits: The Wilderness - Duncan Sheik
Waking Up: Immune - Granian
An Ordinary Day: Fall in a River - Badly Drawn Boy
The First Date: So Sweet - Jonathan Rice
Falling in Love: A Hard Year - Josh Joplin
The Rumble: Hear You Me - Jimmy Eat World
The Break-up: Girl Afraid - The Smiths
Getting Back Together: I Love, I Love (Traveling II) - Dar Williams
Life's Okay: Blue - Angie Hart
The Mental Breakdown: Pillar of Davidson - Live
Cruising: Soap Disco - Kara's Flowers
The Flashback: No Other Way - Jack Johnson
The Party: This Love Affair - Rufus Wainwright
Everybody Dance Now: Everyone - Ghosts
Sex Scene: Dirty Hole - VAST (hahahahahaha)
Regretting: Promise - Matchbook Romance
The Long Night Alone: Your Cloud - Tori Amos
A Death: If All Else Fails - Matchbook Romance
End Credits: My Apartment - Ben Kweller