Friday Feature
Aug. 12th, 2005 09:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dreamcatchingsSo when I went shopping last weekend, I went to The Fashion Bug and was so appalled by their clothes that I wish I had a camera phone. But I don't so scoffing at the clothes on their website will have to suffice, though I warn you that a lot of these look so much worse when you're staring at them in person.
Victorian hooker wear seems to be coming back in style. First we have all that damn velvet and now we're being pushed into hook and eye camis with lace trim. It's not so much that the top itself is that hideous. It's mostly rather boring. What gets me is how much I feel like whomever is wearing this needs to be keeping one eye open for Jack the Ripper or a Johnny. Neither of those options are pleasant.
It's the attack of the gold sequins! This looks like something that might have been made from a stolen article of Steve Wonder's or Elton John's clothing. It's a pale blue covered with both silver and gold sequins. It has long been my opinion that light blue and gold do not mix. Also, gold and silver should not be mixed unless it's absolutely necessary and done in good taste. I have yet to find a good example of this, though. These are the kinds of clothes that people with no taste think are classy. These are the kinds of clothes whose designers stab their eyes out with a pin and claim to have been blind drunk when the other designers tease them about creating this monstrosity in the first place. It's like Frankenstien's monster; it's going to kill you in the end.
Wow. This is one of the most tacky prints I've ever seen. It's like a floral and an animal print had a bastard child that was beaten with the ugly stick for ten years before being led out into the sun at which point someone saw it and decided to put its pattern on clothes. Just to see if people would wear it. Which they will. People will wear anything. In order to get the full effect of this one, you have to zoom in on it because at the default range it doesn't look that bad, a little busy but not terrible. Once you zoom, however, all bets are off.
I don't even understand this top enough to snark it. It makes no sense to me. It's...almost a baby doll top--I loathe them and Courtney Love has already suffered their wrath--but it's also like some kind of cami that decided it didn't want anyone to work on it anymore even though it was only half finished.
Strapless shirts are evil. At least this one is. Some tube tops can be c....ni....not puke provoking. But this one, like some many other outfits, has a classic case of split personality. Part of it has opted for tube top while the rest has visions of some kind of hippy skirt. Actually, I think this whole thing probably took a one way time machine ticket from the late 60s to here.
Since putting every super villain in the greater New York area in jail, Spider-man has since started designing his own clothing line. But for women. I really don't get clothes that only have one sleeve. It makes me wonder if they ran out of material partway through but then I remember that there are countless more of these ugly shirts. Surely, surely they could have simply made fewer shirts but added two sleeves if they feared running out of material. But, no, they actually designed them this way. On purpose. And that's what makes me twinge every time.
ZOMG! Ruffles of doom! Too much fabric. I can't even continue. It's just too hideous. Like a train wreck where you can't look away even though they carting all the bloody bodies past you and you really should hightail it before the engine explodes.
Magic eye meets cami. If you stare at this long enough, do you think that you'll uncover a secret picture? Well, I hope so because then there would at least be a reasonable excuse for this. The pattern makes my eyes hurt. The name bandanna is appropriate, though, but I don't think people should be taking their inspiration from clothes mechanics use to wipe dirt off their hands. Next thing you know, someone's gonna make a dress that looks like a Kleenex with snot on it.
Yeah, that's not gonna draw attention to your ample bosom, stomach, chest, arms, etc. at all. This is a mix between Gap pastel and screaming neon "Eat at Joe's" sign. Plus, more sequins, which are the poor girl's beads. Hello! Plastic is whatever form it takes is not that expensive.
Kill it before it eats the children! Animal prints are out, people. Please. Stop attempting to be some kind of exotic princess because you're really much more attractive in something other than simulated animal skin. Thank you. The matching skirt is the worst thing ever.
Have you ever experienced vertigo? That feeling like your brain is going to crawl out of your ears and your stomach is going to forcefully turn inside out thus expelling every ounce of food you've eaten out of your mouth in a raucous techni-color yawn? No? Well, you have now. Please don't blame me if you lose your lunch and then can't eat for three days straight. I warned you.
Let's continue out little talk about poor color choices. If you're colorblind, you can still have a full life. You might get a little confused about matching, but all in all you won't die from it. If you go into clothing design, though, you will probably be beaten to death by angry customers. *shudder*
AH! No words. Find a happy place, find a happy place, find a happy place...
I think I've seen bad pop art that looked like this. Before I decided to go with Fashion Bug, I surfed around Dillards. It's like there's some craze to put bad modern and pop art onto clothing currently. I don't get it. The colors are too bright and clash and most of the patterns look like vegetarians throwing up after a meal of mixed veggies and tofu.
And while there are more ugly things on this site, I'm going to close for now. Any suggestions of where to go next week?
Victorian hooker wear seems to be coming back in style. First we have all that damn velvet and now we're being pushed into hook and eye camis with lace trim. It's not so much that the top itself is that hideous. It's mostly rather boring. What gets me is how much I feel like whomever is wearing this needs to be keeping one eye open for Jack the Ripper or a Johnny. Neither of those options are pleasant.
It's the attack of the gold sequins! This looks like something that might have been made from a stolen article of Steve Wonder's or Elton John's clothing. It's a pale blue covered with both silver and gold sequins. It has long been my opinion that light blue and gold do not mix. Also, gold and silver should not be mixed unless it's absolutely necessary and done in good taste. I have yet to find a good example of this, though. These are the kinds of clothes that people with no taste think are classy. These are the kinds of clothes whose designers stab their eyes out with a pin and claim to have been blind drunk when the other designers tease them about creating this monstrosity in the first place. It's like Frankenstien's monster; it's going to kill you in the end.
Wow. This is one of the most tacky prints I've ever seen. It's like a floral and an animal print had a bastard child that was beaten with the ugly stick for ten years before being led out into the sun at which point someone saw it and decided to put its pattern on clothes. Just to see if people would wear it. Which they will. People will wear anything. In order to get the full effect of this one, you have to zoom in on it because at the default range it doesn't look that bad, a little busy but not terrible. Once you zoom, however, all bets are off.
I don't even understand this top enough to snark it. It makes no sense to me. It's...almost a baby doll top--I loathe them and Courtney Love has already suffered their wrath--but it's also like some kind of cami that decided it didn't want anyone to work on it anymore even though it was only half finished.
Strapless shirts are evil. At least this one is. Some tube tops can be c....ni....not puke provoking. But this one, like some many other outfits, has a classic case of split personality. Part of it has opted for tube top while the rest has visions of some kind of hippy skirt. Actually, I think this whole thing probably took a one way time machine ticket from the late 60s to here.
Since putting every super villain in the greater New York area in jail, Spider-man has since started designing his own clothing line. But for women. I really don't get clothes that only have one sleeve. It makes me wonder if they ran out of material partway through but then I remember that there are countless more of these ugly shirts. Surely, surely they could have simply made fewer shirts but added two sleeves if they feared running out of material. But, no, they actually designed them this way. On purpose. And that's what makes me twinge every time.
ZOMG! Ruffles of doom! Too much fabric. I can't even continue. It's just too hideous. Like a train wreck where you can't look away even though they carting all the bloody bodies past you and you really should hightail it before the engine explodes.
Magic eye meets cami. If you stare at this long enough, do you think that you'll uncover a secret picture? Well, I hope so because then there would at least be a reasonable excuse for this. The pattern makes my eyes hurt. The name bandanna is appropriate, though, but I don't think people should be taking their inspiration from clothes mechanics use to wipe dirt off their hands. Next thing you know, someone's gonna make a dress that looks like a Kleenex with snot on it.
Yeah, that's not gonna draw attention to your ample bosom, stomach, chest, arms, etc. at all. This is a mix between Gap pastel and screaming neon "Eat at Joe's" sign. Plus, more sequins, which are the poor girl's beads. Hello! Plastic is whatever form it takes is not that expensive.
Kill it before it eats the children! Animal prints are out, people. Please. Stop attempting to be some kind of exotic princess because you're really much more attractive in something other than simulated animal skin. Thank you. The matching skirt is the worst thing ever.
Have you ever experienced vertigo? That feeling like your brain is going to crawl out of your ears and your stomach is going to forcefully turn inside out thus expelling every ounce of food you've eaten out of your mouth in a raucous techni-color yawn? No? Well, you have now. Please don't blame me if you lose your lunch and then can't eat for three days straight. I warned you.
Let's continue out little talk about poor color choices. If you're colorblind, you can still have a full life. You might get a little confused about matching, but all in all you won't die from it. If you go into clothing design, though, you will probably be beaten to death by angry customers. *shudder*
AH! No words. Find a happy place, find a happy place, find a happy place...
I think I've seen bad pop art that looked like this. Before I decided to go with Fashion Bug, I surfed around Dillards. It's like there's some craze to put bad modern and pop art onto clothing currently. I don't get it. The colors are too bright and clash and most of the patterns look like vegetarians throwing up after a meal of mixed veggies and tofu.
And while there are more ugly things on this site, I'm going to close for now. Any suggestions of where to go next week?
