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[personal profile] dreamcatchings
Title: Clueless
Fandom: X-Men
Pairing, etc: Paige `Husk' Guthrie/Jono `Chamber' Starsmore
Prompt: Touch (Prompt 38)
Word Count: 479
Rating: PG-13
Author's Notes: Set anytime after the kiss and before the end of the series.



She has no idea what she's doing.

Not just the what but the why and the how, though the where and the who seem to have figured themselves out with no problem. Where is anywhere. Who is Jono. Always Jono. Even when she acts like she's mad at him for doing something stupid and human, like pushing her away because he's afraid of hurting her, of getting hurt himself. Which she understands. Hard not to understand a thing like that when you're dealing with a boy who blew most of his chest and face off the first time he used his powers.

Because if he did that the first time, what's gonna happen the second or the third? Or the twentieth?

Will it ever get any safer? Does she want it to?

And everything he doesn't have doesn't seem to count so much. Not really.

She's tried to tell him that in words. Tried and failed because she can't seem to string the right ones together. They just fall apart or come out awkward or make him walk off because he doesn't let her explain. Paige can't explain things fast. She's gotta go in order. One thing to another to another until it comes together like a jigsaw puzzle at the end. Or a formula. Or a math proof.

But Jono never lets her get there. Just walks off mad or hurt or whatever he gets. Gloomy. Like she'd just told him something he'd been waiting to hear but after waiting so long the anticipation makes hearing the thing itself so lackluster. Like after all that waiting it wasn't worth the time.

And he never hears her right anyway. He's always gotta take it in some other direction that she didn't mean. Leaves her tongue tied and wondering how anyone ever gets past that first lurch, that stomach dropping feeling of it not being enough, never being enough until she can say the words.

That he never gives her a chance to say.

Which is why she's stopped trying it that way because it weren't getting her anywhere quick.

Not that she's that much better at reaching out for him, taking his hand, kissing what's left of his face and praying to God it's not gonna be a repeat of what happened the last time she tried to touch him because she can't go through that again. And neither can he. No matter how he acts.

But she doesn't know what she's doing.

He doesn't seem to care. Just whispers into her mind, and it's less words and more feelings. And that's alright. Right as rain. And she can do this. If he lets her.

God, she hopes he lets her.
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Sara

July 2012

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