Olympics Figure Skating Pairs Free
Feb. 18th, 2010 03:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dreamcatchingsI am, once again, behind on my figure skating. Now it's time to watch the pairs free program. I have managed to remain spoiler free mostly because none of my friends seem to watch figure skating.
Oh, Germany. You do not fail me with the cractastic outfits, do you. Hot Pants German girl is back only now it's her outfit that's decent ans the man's that is...well. It sort of looks like what would happen if your mom tried to make you a Halloween costume of a Roman Gladiator on a shoe string budget all out of three pieces of fabric, which is to say that it's ridiculous. And she is on her ass again. This girl cannot land her throw jumps all the time. I'm sorry, honey. You're never going to win if you miss one jump in every single program. He, however, is sufficiently strong enough to make for some pretty amazing lifts. I'm really impressed with these lifts.
The music is boring me a little, though. I didn't catch what it was, but it's not as entertaining as I like. Actually, neither are they. There isn't much personality in this number. That's what the free program is supposed to be about. The personality. I don't feel it. Technically, they're a good pair. That doesn't always win you medals, though. We're supposed to feel your performance. They look young enough to grow into the experience, though.
It is fun to listen to them ramble at the camera in German, though.
Here comes the Ukraine. Ooooh. Moonlight Sonata. The judges should like the music at least. It's old skool enough for them. These outfits are pretty good. They're covered in leaves. Ahhhhh.
I can totally see his underwear through those white pants. Visible panty line.
I am once again seeing a nicely done technical program, although he has some problems with his leg extensions in that he bends his freaking leg. Yes, your legs are long. They don't want to bend like that apparently. It's called doing stretches. Try it more. I understand that in the Ukraine you probably have to perform or die but c'mon. Please.
I'm not getting much emotion here, either. Also some nice lifts, though. Not as impressive as Germany's lifts.
Oh. Boy. I'm pretty sure you popped that jump. That never goes over well.
I'm totally bored. I don't want to gouge my eyes out and set them on fire because of any glaringly ugly outfits, she hasn't fallen, he hasn't fallen, but I'm bored.
Oh thank god, they've finished.
The Ukraine seems to have problems finding flesh colored material that isn't five inches thick. It's really disconcerting on close ups.
We're doing an Eastern European Block apparently. Estonia time aka the boy with a pierced ear.
West Side Story. Now we're talking. There should be some energy in this one. About damn time. It might even be classic enough to not automatically nix their chances with the judges.
Her jumps are sloppy. No falls but done badly. She didn't give up, though. After she flubbed one and didn't have time for a full second, she at least tried. I have to give her credit for tenacity. And she had energy. He's a little stiffer. Sometimes he looks like a prop to her performance rather than anything else. I'm still more interested in this performance than the last two, although I don't think it's as technically sound. That's actually ok. Like I said last time, the short is your technical and the long is your free. Let the emotion and creativity out. Land what you gotta land and spend the rest of the time with your razzle dazzle.
Ugh. I do think their spins should at least be close to in sync, though. That's jarring to say the least.
More nice lifts. Apparently lifts are the newest big thing. I don't remember they're being so many lifts when I used to watch skating, which was quite a few years ago. They keep longer air time for the women now.
That wasn't bad at all.
Poland. Romeo and Juliet. The original West Side Story.
Lovely outfits. This girl is pretty pretty but haughty, which is annoying as fuck to me.
Sloppy lift transition although so far their jumps have been flawless. Ha! I would type that right as she stumbles. Not a fall but a knee and a hand to the air. And now they're shaken because the lifts and jumps are going badly and look to have been slowed down.
They're doing pretty well to this song. I think they're carrying the emotion of the song out well, the outfits really are nice. The technical aspects could be stronger for sure. They are startlingly young. They're going to have lots of time to get better.
Well now he flubbed it. Tripped and fell just skating. Just. Skating. The first thing you likely learn. Skate forward.
Poland is not winning this one, but they did a good job. This team should be going places. He looks like he wants to die, and she looks like she wants to kill him with her braces. (I cannot vouch for actual braces because she won't open her mouth that wide, but she looks young enough for them.) Hey, princess, you tripped too.
Here's Great Britain. I'm still stunned they have a figure skating pair. Fantasia.
Oh. My. Does he have to be dressed like a beef eater? Seriously? I hope that's intentional and a representation of Great Britain's sense of humor. If it's not I'm going to have to pretend that it is because otherwise they look like chumps.
I liked these two in the short, and I still like them in the free program. However I have to admit that I preferred them skating to something more modern. They look out of place with classical music. The Linkin Park song was better for them and got more of their energy out there. They look like kids being forced to skate to grandpa's old fuddy duddy music.
Popped jump from him and almost fall jump from her. Guys, you seriously cannot do that in the side by sides.
They have some seriously interesting pick ups (different from lifts in that she not completely in the air but cradled more bu his body such as on his leg). Not to say that the lifts aren't bad.
Jesus God, girl, land a jump correctly please.
Nice spin out of the lift, though. These two are better when they're touching. That sounds weird, but it's true. Their skating together is better than apart, which means they need to work more on technical and less on artistic. Jumps have to be landed.
Another very young couple, though, so they have lots of time. I need to see more from Great Britain. Seriously.
No deductions? Seriously. The judges are freaking blind!
First place currently. That won't last.
Yay! It's the French pair. The beautiful, black French pair. And their outfits are lovely. Their a range of blues and white that look great on both their skin tones.
Romeo and Juliet? That's fucking embarrassing. You people need to learn to correlate your song choices with other countries.
I have to admit that this might be a different version of Romeo and Juliet. I can't tell.
She does air turns. Like he throws her and she spins. In mid-air. That might be the coolest, most dangerous thing I've ever seen.
And this girl can land her fucking jumps.
But neither of them are decent with leg extensions. This is the boy with legs that go from France to Greece, though.
My god, they are controlled. He can slow a spin down gradually and beautifully.
This is totally a different song with the same name.
These two are not as polished together. They aren't bad, but they are both so strong that I'd almost like to see them compete separately. Great Britain had a sense that they needed to be competing with each other to perform their best.
Wow. That was a nice lift and spin and...I don't know what it's called.
I love France. This pair is amazing.
Their short wasn't well received, though, which is going to make winning hard.
OMG. They are both so strong. They do these acrobatics on ice. He will flip her from the ground into the air by his hand. Seriously. ZOMG! And the emotion is there. And the power.
Standing ovation from the crowd because, yeah, they fucking rocked it.
145.10 = first for now
Oh. WTF.
Switzerland? Why do you want to blind me?
Once Upon a Time in America? And you're wearing milk maid plaid with fair suspenders? Um. Can we recheck what it means to be American? I'm not sure you got the right memo. I think you got the "I'm a crack ho" memo.
I cannot understand these outfits in the context of this music. I cannot understand the context of this music. I do not like this music. It's like the elevator music version of Modest Mouse. It makes me twitchy and nervous.
The pair is pretty solid, but I can't really stop trying to figure out what the fucking is going on to enjoy the skating. Not to mention that every single time I fucking look at them, I'm assaulted by the worst outfits known to man. Doubled. Because they both have the same outfits. Double your nausea, double your pain.
She fell. Hit her ass. I have to fast forward. This music is going to make my head explode like in Scanners
Couldn't watch the rest. Went to the score. 2 deductions. I hope one was for the music so I can have vindication. They had better not smegging keep second place.
United States with some song I can't even begin to spell.
And outfits that look like they got picked up at the bottom of Cher's cast off collection. Or Bowie's. Cher for her, Bowie for him. Although he doesn't fill the pants out as well. No one fills out their spandex pants like Bowie.
I'm gonna beat a bitch if they score higher than France. I'm cool with US taking a medal, but France fucking worked it.
He lands sloppy. I don't know. I'm just not a fan of this pair for some reason. They don't suck, but they certainly don't move me. I sort of hate that NBC automatically marks where the American skaters start in the online full replay. It seems more than a little biased.
Skate behind head action but nowhere near what they used to do. Again. I'll have to watch the women's to see if they're mostly keeping it out of pairs.
Meh. Bored. Time to fast forward to scores.
Bitches! They have first.
France deserved so much better. I don't know if they can hold onto second.
Why even put the 15 minutes of Zamboni cleaning the ice on here? Who watches that? Fast forward.
USA's second team. Piano Concerto. I really get so bored with these music choices. I love when people try to bust out of the strictly classical shell because, while classical is great music, sometimes it's nice to mix it up and recognize the fact that there can be new great music created.
I like the outfits, but he seriously looks like he should be joining Star Fleet academy. Black pants, teal shirt with a slight diagonal to the hem. He's a sparkly David Bowie cadet. (I seriously need to but Labyrinth so I can watch it and get this David Bowie obsession out of my head. I've been wanting to watch it for, like, two weeks now but neither Best Buy not Target had it in stock, which is a travesty. I still need to try Wal-Mart and Meijer.)
I'm obviously bored by the skating program when I head off on tangents like this. Just a FYI.
That lift was interesting. It was pretty much one of those, "I put my hand where?" moments from The Cutting Edge only moreso. And for like twenty seconds or longer.
Dude. 114.60 with a total of 171.92. Seriously? Fail. I was bored.
Ooooh. Baby Russia. It's the girl that needs to eat.
Seven Years in Tibet? Interesting.
Wow. Grey with yellow and red. This outfit is not a good color for him at all. Actually, this color combo looks good on no one. It's like a military take on Captain Marvel's costume.
Him throwing the twig into the air to do spins is not nearly impressive as when France does it.
And she is flubbing her jumps left and right.
This pair needs a different song and better outfits. I made such nice comments about the Russian teams. You guys aren't going to make me take it all back this round, are you? I'd hate to do that. I don't think Russia gets enough love.
That was a nice lift, although there were a few moments when she looked pretty unstable.
She fell. Again. I'm not sure she's strong enough to physically land everything she needs to. Her tiny little body just seems to go, "Uhhhhh. No." and topples over.
At least she has the decency to be angry with herself unlike the Polish girl.
106 for the free? She fell. More than once. And she was wobbly.
Argh. These judges are killing me.
Ukraine again. Pearl Harbour?
That, at least, explains the trashy naval officer outfits. I still think some of these countries should pick more culturally appropriate music. Actually, I'm not sure anyone should skate to this song, especially not in these outfits. It's sort of feels like going to see Pearl Harbour on ice and, well, that does not appeal to me.
Neither does the fact that he fell within the first minute and thirty trying to land one of his jumps.
"I'm a boat sailing through the water about to be boooooombed."
"Um. No. Not what we wanted to portray."
"Oh. Why this song then?"
"We thought the American judges might like it."
"I look like a naval prostitute."
"We thought the American judges might like that as well."
"I just threw a bomb at you. Whee!"
"We talked about that."
"I couldn't help it."
"Sinking. We're sinking!"
"Also not advisable."
"You're no fun."
119 for the free, which gives them 181 total and first. Because, y'know, the American judges like crap.
Italy with The Mission. Very nice song.
Also pretty blue outfits with the same sort of gradient feature that France was using. France did it better, of course. Those shades of blue just pop against darker skin.
Damn. She fell. That's actually too bad because I am really liking the way they're portraying the emotion and energy of this song so far. The moves are very appropriate for the tone. Very flowing and languid and sort of sad.
She's landing her other jumps damn strong now, though. Seriously there was one where she went down hard, and you could see the strain but she didn't let it go. They only seem to be capable of variations on one lift, however. That's a little disappointing.
I don't know if The Mission is old skool enough for these judges.
Oh, buddy. She's a little big for you to try the air acrobatics with, especially since you don't look nearly as strong as France. I'm sure the French guy could handle her, but you almost got yourself taken right out of the game. That would have sucked.
4th. That's not bad. I really liked them better than that, though.
Next leg of the competition.
Here's Canada. Here's Canada. With their beady little eyes and their mouths so full of lies.
Oh. Wait. Sorry. Wrong thing.
Wow. He stole France's outfit, and she looks like cotton candy. Seriously. All blue and pink and purple like those cotton candy bags you buy. Hers also has a strangely high neckline that looks uncomfortable and choking. I'm wincing looking at it.
This music is possibly terrible. It sounds like bird calls. The fake canned kind.
Ass on the ice. Ass on the ice. Ass and side. Getting down and dirty with the ice.
Nice lift and subsequent dismount (only word I can think of for it).
I'm bored and this music is so sweet that I might be getting a cavity. He's doing some nice lifts, but this whole thing is just too Sandra Dee for me, especially her. I wish someone would do Grease and go from being Sandra Dee to hot leather mama. That would be entertaining to watch.
That was almost your ass.
I totally fast forwarded. They're in 2nd so far. Apparently boring is better.
It's the possibly married/related/popular last name Chinese couple. Doing the same song that the first US team did. Very embarrassing.
I adore these outfits. China is good with outfits.
And he is bad at jumps. Well, the first one anyway. He was all over the ice.
There is so much more cohesion and energy in their version of this song. This is a much better match than the other. It might be a different portion of the song, but it doesn't matter. They do it better, and they're doing it stronger so far despite the possibly creepy name connotations.
Her jumps are excellent. Not only is he strong enough to give her a great lift off, but she is strong enough to land herself well. It's not that strain that Italy had; it is solid skate diva landing.
And this isn't even my favorite Chinese pair.
Other than his flub at the beginning, that performance was excellent. Man, you can see how he's kicking himself when you look at his face. Given they're from China, that fall may end his life.
Wow. 123 on the free, which is a total of 194 for first. Dude, you get to keep your fucking head. Good job.
More Russia. This time with Love Story.
And, um, apparently they couldn't afford an outfit for him because he's seriously in slacks and a white button down. It's not a bad look, but, um, it doesn't jive with her look. Not to mention that this sort of outfit goes down better at things that are not the Olympics.
I'd say her fall would knock you guys out, but the long is more forgiving than the short on those depending on how...
Never mind. You apparently cannot rock it in slacks because you touched hand to air on one jump and totally flubbed the second late.
The outfits are so jarring. She was a sparkly red outfit, and he looks ready to hit the office. If he at least had something red on him to correspond with her, it might be better. Russian is typically much better at outfits. The short program outfits were all wonderful. It's possible that they spent all their money there because baby Russia and this team ate not wowing me. The woman's in this team is nice, but not as not as I'm used to from Russia. And I don't want to talk about baby Russia's outfits anymore.
This song gets on my nerves after a while.
Score time by force = 2nd. Way too good for those outfits.
More Canada. More Canada.
Ugh. More cliche songs. Go The Way We Were. That's not trite at all.
And we get more gray on the ice. Well, grayish greenish. It's funny. Just the other day I was thinking how awful it is that there's not more gray green colors on the ice because it's really one of the most unflattering colors out there and evens the playing field by making everything look so unappealing that you're forced to judge them on technique alone.
Fall! I should have started a tally way back when. I'm almost three hours in, though. I'm not looking back now.
Her outfit, in addition to being the most unattractive color on the face of the planet, also appears to be backwards. As though shrugged on in a hurry after having inappropriate sex in the storage closet with your coach. (I am not implying anything as I know nothing. It is just for the funnies.)
2nd? Really. With those falls? *eye roll*
I'm still behind team France even though pretty much all the other teams would have to burst into flames for them to win at this point.
Ooooh. I see pouty Russia ready to skate. C'mon Russia!
Blue Danube? That seems appropriately Russian. And here are the outfits I was missing although I don't like his shade of military blue clashes with her bright red. She looks fantastic in red. I know she's representing Russia, but she looks of Asian descent.
Her landing was a little sketchy but other people are getting away with out and out falls so they might be okay.
Oh. Yes. This is a wonderful song for Russia.
Is it wrong that I wish one of the Russian teams would have done The Nutcracker? I know, I know. Trite and expected but also OMG awesome.
This team is fluid and energetic and emotionally attuned to the tone of the song, which is nice to see.
Damn. That looked like a hard fall.
The upside down thing was a good lift, however. All of their lifts are pretty good. There's just this energy that they're making the most of from the music. That is totally to be applauded. They're another one of those teams that seems to function better as a team.
Wow. Nice ending lift with her balanced by her knees on his chest. Lovely.
1st! Go Russia!
Although pouty doesn't look happy. Maybe no one translated yet.
Germany. The less cracktastic German team with Out of Africa? Interesting choice.
These outfits are pretty nice. This is the German team with the black male skater that I liked so much last round.
Sloppy landing on that first jump, guy. You're going to need to tighten that up. Fortunately, she lands such beautiful jumps that everyone else might have forgotten your flub. Except you keep making them. She cannot pull all the weight. That's not fair.
He looks like he might have shaped up, and they're doing some very strong lifts that I actually seen the like of in the rest of the competition that I've watched so far. I admit I might have missed them due to fast forwarding out of the sake of keeping my sanity.
They are also very much in sync, which is nice to see. I think that's something France needs to work on. Those two are so fucking strong, but they need to be more symbiotic. Pairs skating requires that.
1st. I should really stop listing the standings under everything is said and done. It keep changing.
I am always not sure whether it was this China or the next China team who held first all through the short. I am pretty sure it was this one, though. Can't recall.
China again. Pretty sure this is the pair that took the short from the get to and held it the whole time. And they have Impossible Dream. God, I love them.
These outfits are lovely. Black and red and gold and just nicely done. They make both of them look graceful and fluid and wonderful. I'm pretty sure this pair in the favorite. They went first and kept it the entire short program. That's not easy as you can tell from the shifting number of my play by play.
And they are bringing out the energy of this song. I love this song. It's a perfect song for this sort of thing. Nice leg and arm extensions. They have more of that cohesion I've mentioned with some of the other performers.
I think this might be the first pair I've seen who look like they're just having fun. It's the look pairs get when they doing the presentations rather than the competitions. It's that, "I love this. I am having fun. And I get paid for this. My life is fucking sweet." look. That says so much. This pair is so strong and so tuned into each other.
Amazing finishing lift routine. Amazing routine.
And they are so happy. He kissed the ice. They looked so thrilled. That's what I'm talking about when I say energy and emotion. That was beautiful.
213 for first. We had better keep that locked down. I'm not sure I could stand to see them lose.
More China. This time with Adagio in G Minor. This has to be a hard position to skate in. At this point you're probably just like, "What the hell? We've got the gold already. Let's kick this shit and see what happens."
I am not as happy with these outfits as the last set, but they don't suck. More red. I don't care if it sounds stereotypical, but a lot of Asian looks fabulous in red. Play up what you've got it.
More lovely lifts. This is another one of China's strong, experienced pairs. I am pretty in awe with all the China pairs. They also look like they're enjoying themselves, which is beyond marvelous. You're last. You sort of have to just go out there and love every second of it because you're either placing or not. And your teammates already got first so you don't need to sweat that shit.
Seriously. If you watch any of the pairs skating, find the Chinese ones. Watch those. Amazing.
216 for first
Final Round Up:
1. China
2. China
3. Germany
Oh, Germany. You do not fail me with the cractastic outfits, do you. Hot Pants German girl is back only now it's her outfit that's decent ans the man's that is...well. It sort of looks like what would happen if your mom tried to make you a Halloween costume of a Roman Gladiator on a shoe string budget all out of three pieces of fabric, which is to say that it's ridiculous. And she is on her ass again. This girl cannot land her throw jumps all the time. I'm sorry, honey. You're never going to win if you miss one jump in every single program. He, however, is sufficiently strong enough to make for some pretty amazing lifts. I'm really impressed with these lifts.
The music is boring me a little, though. I didn't catch what it was, but it's not as entertaining as I like. Actually, neither are they. There isn't much personality in this number. That's what the free program is supposed to be about. The personality. I don't feel it. Technically, they're a good pair. That doesn't always win you medals, though. We're supposed to feel your performance. They look young enough to grow into the experience, though.
It is fun to listen to them ramble at the camera in German, though.
Here comes the Ukraine. Ooooh. Moonlight Sonata. The judges should like the music at least. It's old skool enough for them. These outfits are pretty good. They're covered in leaves. Ahhhhh.
I can totally see his underwear through those white pants. Visible panty line.
I am once again seeing a nicely done technical program, although he has some problems with his leg extensions in that he bends his freaking leg. Yes, your legs are long. They don't want to bend like that apparently. It's called doing stretches. Try it more. I understand that in the Ukraine you probably have to perform or die but c'mon. Please.
I'm not getting much emotion here, either. Also some nice lifts, though. Not as impressive as Germany's lifts.
Oh. Boy. I'm pretty sure you popped that jump. That never goes over well.
I'm totally bored. I don't want to gouge my eyes out and set them on fire because of any glaringly ugly outfits, she hasn't fallen, he hasn't fallen, but I'm bored.
Oh thank god, they've finished.
The Ukraine seems to have problems finding flesh colored material that isn't five inches thick. It's really disconcerting on close ups.
We're doing an Eastern European Block apparently. Estonia time aka the boy with a pierced ear.
West Side Story. Now we're talking. There should be some energy in this one. About damn time. It might even be classic enough to not automatically nix their chances with the judges.
Her jumps are sloppy. No falls but done badly. She didn't give up, though. After she flubbed one and didn't have time for a full second, she at least tried. I have to give her credit for tenacity. And she had energy. He's a little stiffer. Sometimes he looks like a prop to her performance rather than anything else. I'm still more interested in this performance than the last two, although I don't think it's as technically sound. That's actually ok. Like I said last time, the short is your technical and the long is your free. Let the emotion and creativity out. Land what you gotta land and spend the rest of the time with your razzle dazzle.
Ugh. I do think their spins should at least be close to in sync, though. That's jarring to say the least.
More nice lifts. Apparently lifts are the newest big thing. I don't remember they're being so many lifts when I used to watch skating, which was quite a few years ago. They keep longer air time for the women now.
That wasn't bad at all.
Poland. Romeo and Juliet. The original West Side Story.
Lovely outfits. This girl is pretty pretty but haughty, which is annoying as fuck to me.
Sloppy lift transition although so far their jumps have been flawless. Ha! I would type that right as she stumbles. Not a fall but a knee and a hand to the air. And now they're shaken because the lifts and jumps are going badly and look to have been slowed down.
They're doing pretty well to this song. I think they're carrying the emotion of the song out well, the outfits really are nice. The technical aspects could be stronger for sure. They are startlingly young. They're going to have lots of time to get better.
Well now he flubbed it. Tripped and fell just skating. Just. Skating. The first thing you likely learn. Skate forward.
Poland is not winning this one, but they did a good job. This team should be going places. He looks like he wants to die, and she looks like she wants to kill him with her braces. (I cannot vouch for actual braces because she won't open her mouth that wide, but she looks young enough for them.) Hey, princess, you tripped too.
Here's Great Britain. I'm still stunned they have a figure skating pair. Fantasia.
Oh. My. Does he have to be dressed like a beef eater? Seriously? I hope that's intentional and a representation of Great Britain's sense of humor. If it's not I'm going to have to pretend that it is because otherwise they look like chumps.
I liked these two in the short, and I still like them in the free program. However I have to admit that I preferred them skating to something more modern. They look out of place with classical music. The Linkin Park song was better for them and got more of their energy out there. They look like kids being forced to skate to grandpa's old fuddy duddy music.
Popped jump from him and almost fall jump from her. Guys, you seriously cannot do that in the side by sides.
They have some seriously interesting pick ups (different from lifts in that she not completely in the air but cradled more bu his body such as on his leg). Not to say that the lifts aren't bad.
Jesus God, girl, land a jump correctly please.
Nice spin out of the lift, though. These two are better when they're touching. That sounds weird, but it's true. Their skating together is better than apart, which means they need to work more on technical and less on artistic. Jumps have to be landed.
Another very young couple, though, so they have lots of time. I need to see more from Great Britain. Seriously.
No deductions? Seriously. The judges are freaking blind!
First place currently. That won't last.
Yay! It's the French pair. The beautiful, black French pair. And their outfits are lovely. Their a range of blues and white that look great on both their skin tones.
Romeo and Juliet? That's fucking embarrassing. You people need to learn to correlate your song choices with other countries.
I have to admit that this might be a different version of Romeo and Juliet. I can't tell.
She does air turns. Like he throws her and she spins. In mid-air. That might be the coolest, most dangerous thing I've ever seen.
And this girl can land her fucking jumps.
But neither of them are decent with leg extensions. This is the boy with legs that go from France to Greece, though.
My god, they are controlled. He can slow a spin down gradually and beautifully.
This is totally a different song with the same name.
These two are not as polished together. They aren't bad, but they are both so strong that I'd almost like to see them compete separately. Great Britain had a sense that they needed to be competing with each other to perform their best.
Wow. That was a nice lift and spin and...I don't know what it's called.
I love France. This pair is amazing.
Their short wasn't well received, though, which is going to make winning hard.
OMG. They are both so strong. They do these acrobatics on ice. He will flip her from the ground into the air by his hand. Seriously. ZOMG! And the emotion is there. And the power.
Standing ovation from the crowd because, yeah, they fucking rocked it.
145.10 = first for now
Oh. WTF.
Switzerland? Why do you want to blind me?
Once Upon a Time in America? And you're wearing milk maid plaid with fair suspenders? Um. Can we recheck what it means to be American? I'm not sure you got the right memo. I think you got the "I'm a crack ho" memo.
I cannot understand these outfits in the context of this music. I cannot understand the context of this music. I do not like this music. It's like the elevator music version of Modest Mouse. It makes me twitchy and nervous.
The pair is pretty solid, but I can't really stop trying to figure out what the fucking is going on to enjoy the skating. Not to mention that every single time I fucking look at them, I'm assaulted by the worst outfits known to man. Doubled. Because they both have the same outfits. Double your nausea, double your pain.
She fell. Hit her ass. I have to fast forward. This music is going to make my head explode like in Scanners
Couldn't watch the rest. Went to the score. 2 deductions. I hope one was for the music so I can have vindication. They had better not smegging keep second place.
United States with some song I can't even begin to spell.
And outfits that look like they got picked up at the bottom of Cher's cast off collection. Or Bowie's. Cher for her, Bowie for him. Although he doesn't fill the pants out as well. No one fills out their spandex pants like Bowie.
I'm gonna beat a bitch if they score higher than France. I'm cool with US taking a medal, but France fucking worked it.
He lands sloppy. I don't know. I'm just not a fan of this pair for some reason. They don't suck, but they certainly don't move me. I sort of hate that NBC automatically marks where the American skaters start in the online full replay. It seems more than a little biased.
Skate behind head action but nowhere near what they used to do. Again. I'll have to watch the women's to see if they're mostly keeping it out of pairs.
Meh. Bored. Time to fast forward to scores.
Bitches! They have first.
France deserved so much better. I don't know if they can hold onto second.
Why even put the 15 minutes of Zamboni cleaning the ice on here? Who watches that? Fast forward.
USA's second team. Piano Concerto. I really get so bored with these music choices. I love when people try to bust out of the strictly classical shell because, while classical is great music, sometimes it's nice to mix it up and recognize the fact that there can be new great music created.
I like the outfits, but he seriously looks like he should be joining Star Fleet academy. Black pants, teal shirt with a slight diagonal to the hem. He's a sparkly David Bowie cadet. (I seriously need to but Labyrinth so I can watch it and get this David Bowie obsession out of my head. I've been wanting to watch it for, like, two weeks now but neither Best Buy not Target had it in stock, which is a travesty. I still need to try Wal-Mart and Meijer.)
I'm obviously bored by the skating program when I head off on tangents like this. Just a FYI.
That lift was interesting. It was pretty much one of those, "I put my hand where?" moments from The Cutting Edge only moreso. And for like twenty seconds or longer.
Dude. 114.60 with a total of 171.92. Seriously? Fail. I was bored.
Ooooh. Baby Russia. It's the girl that needs to eat.
Seven Years in Tibet? Interesting.
Wow. Grey with yellow and red. This outfit is not a good color for him at all. Actually, this color combo looks good on no one. It's like a military take on Captain Marvel's costume.
Him throwing the twig into the air to do spins is not nearly impressive as when France does it.
And she is flubbing her jumps left and right.
This pair needs a different song and better outfits. I made such nice comments about the Russian teams. You guys aren't going to make me take it all back this round, are you? I'd hate to do that. I don't think Russia gets enough love.
That was a nice lift, although there were a few moments when she looked pretty unstable.
She fell. Again. I'm not sure she's strong enough to physically land everything she needs to. Her tiny little body just seems to go, "Uhhhhh. No." and topples over.
At least she has the decency to be angry with herself unlike the Polish girl.
106 for the free? She fell. More than once. And she was wobbly.
Argh. These judges are killing me.
Ukraine again. Pearl Harbour?
That, at least, explains the trashy naval officer outfits. I still think some of these countries should pick more culturally appropriate music. Actually, I'm not sure anyone should skate to this song, especially not in these outfits. It's sort of feels like going to see Pearl Harbour on ice and, well, that does not appeal to me.
Neither does the fact that he fell within the first minute and thirty trying to land one of his jumps.
"I'm a boat sailing through the water about to be boooooombed."
"Um. No. Not what we wanted to portray."
"Oh. Why this song then?"
"We thought the American judges might like it."
"I look like a naval prostitute."
"We thought the American judges might like that as well."
"I just threw a bomb at you. Whee!"
"We talked about that."
"I couldn't help it."
"Sinking. We're sinking!"
"Also not advisable."
"You're no fun."
119 for the free, which gives them 181 total and first. Because, y'know, the American judges like crap.
Italy with The Mission. Very nice song.
Also pretty blue outfits with the same sort of gradient feature that France was using. France did it better, of course. Those shades of blue just pop against darker skin.
Damn. She fell. That's actually too bad because I am really liking the way they're portraying the emotion and energy of this song so far. The moves are very appropriate for the tone. Very flowing and languid and sort of sad.
She's landing her other jumps damn strong now, though. Seriously there was one where she went down hard, and you could see the strain but she didn't let it go. They only seem to be capable of variations on one lift, however. That's a little disappointing.
I don't know if The Mission is old skool enough for these judges.
Oh, buddy. She's a little big for you to try the air acrobatics with, especially since you don't look nearly as strong as France. I'm sure the French guy could handle her, but you almost got yourself taken right out of the game. That would have sucked.
4th. That's not bad. I really liked them better than that, though.
Next leg of the competition.
Here's Canada. Here's Canada. With their beady little eyes and their mouths so full of lies.
Oh. Wait. Sorry. Wrong thing.
Wow. He stole France's outfit, and she looks like cotton candy. Seriously. All blue and pink and purple like those cotton candy bags you buy. Hers also has a strangely high neckline that looks uncomfortable and choking. I'm wincing looking at it.
This music is possibly terrible. It sounds like bird calls. The fake canned kind.
Ass on the ice. Ass on the ice. Ass and side. Getting down and dirty with the ice.
Nice lift and subsequent dismount (only word I can think of for it).
I'm bored and this music is so sweet that I might be getting a cavity. He's doing some nice lifts, but this whole thing is just too Sandra Dee for me, especially her. I wish someone would do Grease and go from being Sandra Dee to hot leather mama. That would be entertaining to watch.
That was almost your ass.
I totally fast forwarded. They're in 2nd so far. Apparently boring is better.
It's the possibly married/related/popular last name Chinese couple. Doing the same song that the first US team did. Very embarrassing.
I adore these outfits. China is good with outfits.
And he is bad at jumps. Well, the first one anyway. He was all over the ice.
There is so much more cohesion and energy in their version of this song. This is a much better match than the other. It might be a different portion of the song, but it doesn't matter. They do it better, and they're doing it stronger so far despite the possibly creepy name connotations.
Her jumps are excellent. Not only is he strong enough to give her a great lift off, but she is strong enough to land herself well. It's not that strain that Italy had; it is solid skate diva landing.
And this isn't even my favorite Chinese pair.
Other than his flub at the beginning, that performance was excellent. Man, you can see how he's kicking himself when you look at his face. Given they're from China, that fall may end his life.
Wow. 123 on the free, which is a total of 194 for first. Dude, you get to keep your fucking head. Good job.
More Russia. This time with Love Story.
And, um, apparently they couldn't afford an outfit for him because he's seriously in slacks and a white button down. It's not a bad look, but, um, it doesn't jive with her look. Not to mention that this sort of outfit goes down better at things that are not the Olympics.
I'd say her fall would knock you guys out, but the long is more forgiving than the short on those depending on how...
Never mind. You apparently cannot rock it in slacks because you touched hand to air on one jump and totally flubbed the second late.
The outfits are so jarring. She was a sparkly red outfit, and he looks ready to hit the office. If he at least had something red on him to correspond with her, it might be better. Russian is typically much better at outfits. The short program outfits were all wonderful. It's possible that they spent all their money there because baby Russia and this team ate not wowing me. The woman's in this team is nice, but not as not as I'm used to from Russia. And I don't want to talk about baby Russia's outfits anymore.
This song gets on my nerves after a while.
Score time by force = 2nd. Way too good for those outfits.
More Canada. More Canada.
Ugh. More cliche songs. Go The Way We Were. That's not trite at all.
And we get more gray on the ice. Well, grayish greenish. It's funny. Just the other day I was thinking how awful it is that there's not more gray green colors on the ice because it's really one of the most unflattering colors out there and evens the playing field by making everything look so unappealing that you're forced to judge them on technique alone.
Fall! I should have started a tally way back when. I'm almost three hours in, though. I'm not looking back now.
Her outfit, in addition to being the most unattractive color on the face of the planet, also appears to be backwards. As though shrugged on in a hurry after having inappropriate sex in the storage closet with your coach. (I am not implying anything as I know nothing. It is just for the funnies.)
2nd? Really. With those falls? *eye roll*
I'm still behind team France even though pretty much all the other teams would have to burst into flames for them to win at this point.
Ooooh. I see pouty Russia ready to skate. C'mon Russia!
Blue Danube? That seems appropriately Russian. And here are the outfits I was missing although I don't like his shade of military blue clashes with her bright red. She looks fantastic in red. I know she's representing Russia, but she looks of Asian descent.
Her landing was a little sketchy but other people are getting away with out and out falls so they might be okay.
Oh. Yes. This is a wonderful song for Russia.
Is it wrong that I wish one of the Russian teams would have done The Nutcracker? I know, I know. Trite and expected but also OMG awesome.
This team is fluid and energetic and emotionally attuned to the tone of the song, which is nice to see.
Damn. That looked like a hard fall.
The upside down thing was a good lift, however. All of their lifts are pretty good. There's just this energy that they're making the most of from the music. That is totally to be applauded. They're another one of those teams that seems to function better as a team.
Wow. Nice ending lift with her balanced by her knees on his chest. Lovely.
1st! Go Russia!
Although pouty doesn't look happy. Maybe no one translated yet.
Germany. The less cracktastic German team with Out of Africa? Interesting choice.
These outfits are pretty nice. This is the German team with the black male skater that I liked so much last round.
Sloppy landing on that first jump, guy. You're going to need to tighten that up. Fortunately, she lands such beautiful jumps that everyone else might have forgotten your flub. Except you keep making them. She cannot pull all the weight. That's not fair.
He looks like he might have shaped up, and they're doing some very strong lifts that I actually seen the like of in the rest of the competition that I've watched so far. I admit I might have missed them due to fast forwarding out of the sake of keeping my sanity.
They are also very much in sync, which is nice to see. I think that's something France needs to work on. Those two are so fucking strong, but they need to be more symbiotic. Pairs skating requires that.
1st. I should really stop listing the standings under everything is said and done. It keep changing.
I am always not sure whether it was this China or the next China team who held first all through the short. I am pretty sure it was this one, though. Can't recall.
China again. Pretty sure this is the pair that took the short from the get to and held it the whole time. And they have Impossible Dream. God, I love them.
These outfits are lovely. Black and red and gold and just nicely done. They make both of them look graceful and fluid and wonderful. I'm pretty sure this pair in the favorite. They went first and kept it the entire short program. That's not easy as you can tell from the shifting number of my play by play.
And they are bringing out the energy of this song. I love this song. It's a perfect song for this sort of thing. Nice leg and arm extensions. They have more of that cohesion I've mentioned with some of the other performers.
I think this might be the first pair I've seen who look like they're just having fun. It's the look pairs get when they doing the presentations rather than the competitions. It's that, "I love this. I am having fun. And I get paid for this. My life is fucking sweet." look. That says so much. This pair is so strong and so tuned into each other.
Amazing finishing lift routine. Amazing routine.
And they are so happy. He kissed the ice. They looked so thrilled. That's what I'm talking about when I say energy and emotion. That was beautiful.
213 for first. We had better keep that locked down. I'm not sure I could stand to see them lose.
More China. This time with Adagio in G Minor. This has to be a hard position to skate in. At this point you're probably just like, "What the hell? We've got the gold already. Let's kick this shit and see what happens."
I am not as happy with these outfits as the last set, but they don't suck. More red. I don't care if it sounds stereotypical, but a lot of Asian looks fabulous in red. Play up what you've got it.
More lovely lifts. This is another one of China's strong, experienced pairs. I am pretty in awe with all the China pairs. They also look like they're enjoying themselves, which is beyond marvelous. You're last. You sort of have to just go out there and love every second of it because you're either placing or not. And your teammates already got first so you don't need to sweat that shit.
Seriously. If you watch any of the pairs skating, find the Chinese ones. Watch those. Amazing.
216 for first
Final Round Up:
1. China
2. China
3. Germany
